Different Stress Responses and Why They Happen

Have you ever laughed in the middle of a serious moment? Or gone completely numb when you expected to cry? Maybe you’ve found yourself getting unusually quiet, walking away from a tense conversation, or doing everything to make someone else feel better, even when you’re the one struggling.

These might feel like confusing or “wrong” reactions, but they’re very normal. They’re known as stress responses, which is your body’s automatic way of protecting you when emotions get too overwhelming to handle all at once. Let’s explore the different ways people respond to stress, and why these reactions happen in the first place.

TL;DR

Stress can show up in unexpected ways, like laughing during serious moments or feeling numb when overwhelmed. These are normal, automatic responses your body uses to cope when emotions feel too much. There are five common stress responses:

• Fight – reacting with anger or defensiveness.

• Flight – escaping or avoiding the situation.

• Freeze – feeling stuck, numb, or blank.

• Fawn – people-pleasing to stay safe.

• Incongruent Affect – reacting in ways that don’t match the moment (e.g., laughing when sad).

These reactions are shaped by past experiences, personality, and how your nervous system is wired.

To cope, try deep breathing, gentle movement, and self-kindness.

What is a stress response?

A stress response is your body’s way of saying, “I don’t feel safe.” This doesn’t always mean physical danger. It could be emotional stress, sensory overload, or even excitement that’s too intense to process.

When something feels too much, too fast, too unexpected, or too painful, your brain quickly chooses a survival strategy. This usually happens without you even realising it. It’s not a sign of weakness or being “too sensitive.” It’s simply how the brain tries to protect you.

The 5 Common Stress Responses

Most people have heard of “fight or flight,” but those are just two out of five known stress responses. All of them are completely normal and can show up in different ways depending on the person and situation.

1. Fight: This response looks like anger, frustration, or standing your ground. You may feel the urge to argue, raise your voice, or defend yourself quickly. It’s your body getting ready to confront a perceived threat.

2. Flight: You feel the need to leave the situation. That could mean walking away, avoiding a conversation, or becoming restless or anxious. Your body is trying to escape what feels unsafe.

3. Freeze: This response makes you feel stuck. Your mind may go blank. Your body may feel heavy, numb, or unable to move. It’s like pressing pause, hoping the danger will pass if you stay still.

4. Fawn: This is when you try to please others in order to stay safe. You might smile even when you’re upset, agree to things you’re uncomfortable with, or prioritize others’ needs over your own. It’s a way of avoiding conflict by making yourself more agreeable.

5. Incongruent Affect: This is when your outward reaction doesn’t match how you feel inside. For example, you might laugh during a sad or stressful moment, or cry after hearing good news. It can feel confusing, but it’s a common reaction when emotions are too intense to sort through neatly.

Why does this happen?

Stress responses happen automatically, and they’re influenced by a mix of factors like past experiences, personality, environment, and how the nervous system is wired.

For example:

• People who’ve experienced trauma may be more likely to freeze or fawn.

• Highly sensitive or neurodivergent individuals might have stronger or less typical responses.

• Even positive stress, like excitement or joy, can trigger an unexpected reaction if it feels overwhelming.

The brain’s job is to keep you safe, and it will choose whatever response it believes will protect you, even if it doesn’t seem to “fit” the moment.

“Weird” reactions aren’t weird at all

Many people feel ashamed or worried when their reactions don’t make sense to others or even to themselves. But these responses aren’t signs of being dramatic, broken, or “crazy.” They’re natural, human reactions to emotional overload.

Whether it’s shutting down, laughing in serious moments, or feeling the urge to please everyone, each reaction is your body’s way of saying: I need to feel safe.

How to support yourself during a stress response

• Take slow, deep breaths to calm your nervous system.

• Ask, “What am I feeling right now?” or “What might my body be trying to tell me?”

• Even small movements, like stretching, shaking your hands, or walking, can release built-up tension.

• Sometimes just saying “This is a stress reaction” can help take away the fear or shame.

• Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel the way you do. Your body is doing its best.

When to seek extra support

If stress responses are making everyday life feel harder. For instance, if you often feel shut down, disconnected, overly reactive, or overwhelmed, it’s okay to seek help. A therapist or mental health professional from Meela can help you understand your patterns and gently build new ways to cope.

You’re not alone

Stress responses can look and feel different for everyone. Some people cry easily, others go quiet. Some feel numb, some laugh, and others feel like their emotions don’t make any sense at all. The truth is there is no wrong way to respond to stress. There’s only your way. The more we talk about these reactions, the less alone people feel. And that’s where healing begins.