What Is Self-Esteem and How Can You Improve It?

Learn how to build a stronger, more positive view of yourself.

Self-esteem is about how you see your own worth, not based on achievements, outside validation, or what others think. When your self-esteem is strong, you feel that you are good enough just as you are, in both good times and bad.

But when self-esteem is low, even small setbacks or criticism can make you question your value. You might feel like you always need to perform well to be accepted, struggle to set boundaries, or doubt your importance.

The good news? Self-esteem isn’t fixed, it can grow and improve with the right support and strategies.

What Is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is your inner sense of worth, how you feel about yourself as a person. It’s not based on achievements, but on your core belief that you matter. Self-esteem impacts nearly every part of life, including your relationships, work, choices, and how well you care for yourself.

Someone with strong self-esteem:

• Feels worthy regardless of performance.
• Can say no and set healthy boundaries.
• Handles setbacks without feeling like a failure.

Someone with low self-esteem:

• Is very self-critical and doubts their worth.
• Struggles to say no out of fear of rejection.
• Takes criticism personally and feels crushed by it.

Self-Esteem vs. Self-Confidence – What’s the Difference?

These two are often confused but mean different things:

• Self-esteem is about how valuable you feel as a person.
• Self-confidence is about how much you believe in your ability to succeed at tasks.

Example: You can feel confident at work but still feel unworthy deep down. Or you may believe you’re valuable but still get nervous taking on new challenges.

Understanding the difference helps you focus on the right kind of support, whether you need to believe in yourself more (confidence) or feel worthy as you are (self-esteem).

Signs of Low Self-Esteem.

Low self-esteem can show up as harsh self-criticism, fear of rejection, or trouble setting boundaries. It often leads to high pressure and less self-compassion, holding you back from living with confidence and ease. Common signs include:

• Perfectionism: Feeling like you must always do your best to be enough.
• Struggling with boundaries: Saying yes when you want to say no.
• Taking criticism hard: Even helpful feedback feels personal.
• Harsh self-talk: Focusing on flaws instead of strengths.
• Constant comparison: Feeling “less than” when you see others succeed.
• Difficulty accepting compliments: You don’t believe positive feedback.

What Causes Low Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is shaped by your experiences and environment. Here are some common factors that can negatively affect it:

1. Childhood and Upbringing.

How you were treated growing up matters. Frequent criticism, feeling ignored, or only being valued when you performed well can lead to low self-worth later in life.

2. Negative Past Experiences.

Rejection, harsh feedback, or unhealthy relationships can leave emotional scars. Trauma and toxic environments often contribute to a poor self-image.

3. Social Pressure and Media Influence.

Constant comparison on social media can make you feel like you’re never “enough.” Unrealistic beauty standards and high expectations can damage your self-esteem over time.

How to Boost Your Self-Esteem.

Building self-esteem takes time, but small steps make a big difference. Here are three key strategies:

1. Challenge Negative Thoughts.

When you catch yourself being self-critical, ask: “Would I say this to a friend?” Replace harsh thoughts with a kinder, more balanced perspective.

2. Notice the Positives.

Write down small wins or things you did well each day. Practice accepting compliments, just say “Thank you” and let it sink in.

3. Do Things That Aren’t About Achievement.

Find joy in activities that aren’t tied to performance. Take a walk, get creative, or enjoy time with a friend, remind yourself you’re valuable just by being you.

Strengthening your self-esteem is about shifting your mindset and treating yourself with more compassion.

Explore our 7 exercises designed to boost both your self-esteem and self-confidence, so you can feel better from the inside out.

Can Therapy Help Boost Self-Esteem?

Yes. Therapy can help you:

• Build a healthier relationship with yourself
• Let go of guilt, shame, or the need to always prove your worth
• Learn how to set boundaries and speak kindly to yourself
• Understand what shaped your self-esteem and how to grow it

When Should You Seek Help for Self-Esteem?

Low self-esteem doesn’t just affect how you feel about yourself, it can impact your mental health, relationships, and everyday functioning.

Talking to a therapist can help you understand where these feelings come from and give you practical tools to build a healthier self-image, step by step.

Here are some signs that therapy might be helpful:

• Constantly feel “not good enough” or overly self-critical.
• Avoid situations out of fear of being judged.
• Struggle to accept praise or focus only on your flaws.
• Feel that your self-worth is holding you back or making you unhappy.

Professional support can help you break these patterns and develop a more compassionate and confident view of yourself.

Therapy Self-Test – See If It’s Right for You.

Not sure if therapy is right for you? Take our self-assessment therapy test. It’s only 8 questions and you’ll get a clearer picture of whether therapy could support you in improving your self-esteem and mental well-being.

Take the therapy test here.